Monday 31 May 2010

Paranoia

Wow haven't been on here in a while. I normal just read everyone else posts but for once i have something to say.

Today, I am beginning to believe I have paranoia, I always thought this secertly in the back of my mind. Like a little itch that I just choose to ignore. Its not like I'm in constant fear although walking at night I do turn my head a few to many times, but I'm going to ignore that one.

I think i've got the anxiety kinda paranioa, I seem to say to myself that everything in my life is a lie that you cna never trust anyone because you can never tell if they really like you. I feel like in every friendship, i make up situations where my so called friends are going out behind my back, not inviting me, secertly bitching about me behind my back. In every relationship I feel i can't comment myself to them because I don't trust them, I don't believe they love or ever will love. They are just to nice or good to say no or leave me. I mean if my grilfriend doesn't text back after we have been texting for a while, i begin to belive that she hates me or i cheating on me. I mean jesus christ she may of just forgot to text back like i do or something as stupid as that. But I have to pick the worst situation and believe it.

I don't like this, i want to be the one who falls head over heels in love or can trust anyone but i'm not, i fall in love in little bits. I know i love people but then it stops and starts again.

I'm not sure if this is normal.?
Any Ideas?