Music

Music is awesome, there is some many types of music all with a unique style and emotion they bring you. Music is amazing for so many reason and i give full credit to anyone who plays a decent level of music. Cause you have the power to control peoples emotions , just depending on the way you play can change the mood of any person be it happy or sad. I mean to be able to do that, it is just amazing.

Many people say that music saves your soul and i can see why if i didn't have music i would be lost i would be talking to myself just cause i like noise around me. And i would be trying to tlk myself into a certain emotion.

I don't why i like music so much, i will listen to everything even classical when played at the right moment can create an emotion. So to all musicians you are my heros. And if you sing your just a legend.

Let music fill your life, just sit and lie on your bed, just relaxing to music. Let it take you on a journey. Let it show how the musician was feeling. Let it become part of you as you can feel so much more free and at peace because of it

Music lives in my soul, music sooths my soul, music is a part of me.

Blowing up

Basically over the last few weeks i have been falling apart, slow but surely and day by day. I have been losing a piece of me. Now most of you at the moment must be thinking WTF!!! He seemed fine when i was with him. But i was just pretending. What i have found over the last week is that all the anger and bitterness that i have kept back because of my laid back nature has caught up with me. It got to a point where i would wake up angry (for no reason) and go to sleep angry. I felt like i was going crazy i didn't no what was happening. A few days ago it started to get worse like a virus slowly spreading across my body, and envloping all other emotions. I started to snap at the smallest things. I couldn't help it, my anger just seeped out in little ways, it needed to.

But 2 days ago i was a the ford, everything was fine. My anger had died down to a tam level. It was on the walk back where it happened. I was walking with danni, and i went to hug her,even though i no that she doesn't like to be touch when she is tired) so she didn't hug me back. This made my angry rise. So i walked off ahead of everyone, to prevent anymore anger escaping. I was walking down the bridge over the motorway, when i saw jake get of his back and go and hug danni. It looked like danni was going to hug him back. This is what made me snap. Not just snap i went into a fit of rage. Ever bit of anger was beening reliease on everyhting and anything. I punched the metal rails, i then punch the concrete wall. I just kept hit. I could feel it hurt me, th anger in me needed to get out. I even hit myself at one point. Anyway i carried on walking anger pulsing through me. I found a spot in the woods and calmed myself down. The anger had seem to subside. After a while danni came up to see me.(Brave girl) She sat down and hugged me. I could feel all my anger seep away. She asked me what was wrong. And i final after 3-4 weeks of angry boiling inside of me. I manged to explain how i felt. (a big feat for me as i find it very hard to show emotions - SUz knows). After i had finished talking. I felt at peace. I felt happy, I felt feelings that i haven't expreinced in weeks. And i have found the more i talk about it the better i feel.

So i am now going back and pulling myself together. I'm going back to the way i was. Apart from some anger that i have will be reliased at the time. So watch out. I found out i can hit hard. lol

I now what you all thinking now. Its he needs help. ANd yer propable do, but o well. I admit that i felt crazy at the time. But i think i;m going to get better. So yer.

OLD PHIL IS BACK AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Warning

Okay here is a warning; Basically with school out the way i've had alot of free time. So i decided to look up fine in the dictionary. Turns out when i say i'm fine. I'm not. SO don't believe, i'm probably lieing

Another thing is that if a person is insulting you or verbally abusing you, tell them. Who ever came up with sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Was talking crap, With words you can feel the hatered and venom drip of there tongue. The words that they say whizzing round your head time and time again. Doubting yourself " Am i really like that". The words people say can hurt worse than actions. A punch to me is probably better than the slow poison of words after all ; With violence i have a chance of hitting back
With words no matter what i say or do there is doubt in my heads, that make me believe i am what they call me

There is such thing as a bullet proof vest. It's used to stop physical violence
There ISN'T such thing as a word proof vest. Cause no matter what those words will slip through your armour. No matter how deep.

From now on i will say my feelings no matter how harsh, destructive or obsence.

This is your warning world

FML

I think i personal had a pretty good fuck my life moment a few days ago

I haven't cried or shed a tear for anything for ages, until i found myself crying cause troy and gabrealli broke up in high school musical 2. FML !!!!