Did I

Did i get lost while I was gone? I've travelled space away for far to long.
-> yellowcard - space travel

However i think this basically sums me up at the moment. If we see love s space ( you know knocks you off your feet, has no laws limits or boundarys) well basically i think i've been in to many relationships. I seem to hope from one to the other, never taking time to learn how to live life away and alone of other people. I need to get used to the fact that when i want a hug sometimes my bear will be my only option. I basically need to get used to living life on my own cause even when i'm out of relationships i rely to much on seeing friends for me to say that i am ever truly alone. Its weird
I guess i just need to grow up and become more independant ...
Time to learn how

I'm feeling lonely, everyone moving on with there lives, getting ready for uni, preparing themselfs for life and i;m just sitting here watching it all go by. I want to put the brakes on life, to say let me have a couple more years of being a child. Instead i'm slowing down and everyone staying the same. I feel like i'm being life behind just cause i don't want to go to uni.

Plus i know it sounds mental, and even though we've broken up for a while, i think today when i woke up i just felt more alone, i mean even though we are apart, i think a part of us still liked each other, I mean we didn't break up cause we didn't like each other, it just wasn't working. but today, today i felt the love just kinda go. Its hard to explain but image your on a train, its really crowded and people are leaning in against you. These are the people that love you, like friendship love and family love and even love love . Well i feel like one of these people has moved away leaving a part of my body cold and wanting to be loved again just to feel the warm feeling i had.

I don't no,
pshh

....

Well i just can't hear the music anymore
its not this pleasant summer song
it more this quite serendipity
that i hear after you are gone
and it scares me when you say
that you still hear the music play
be cause i can't cope
with this one note summer song
that i feels been playing a little to long

late night revealtion poems of break ups

There something about the feeling seconds before
of the knots in your stomach, and your eyes on the floor
you open you mouth to speak ,but only a sigh comes out
she's already guess what this could be about.

You begin with the words that you've heard before

I just don't think we can be together anymore

Our times run out, the conversations died

we've had a good run and lord knows we've tried

but the time has come to part our ways

maybe i'll see you again in better days

where we can laugh at whats just been said
with no hard feelings or sad thoughts in our head
but its time i should go, we need to move on
but i'll always think of you when i hear our song

Friendship

It weird everone including me i think, have said that they have lost friendships during college and maybe i have but i generally don't notice,

I think the toughest part about losinga friend must be the fact that they knew you, and like you for it they knew your fears, they knew you secerts and everything. I think it would be hard to lose something like that, Its why i think me and dan are the way we are now, we know and been with each other to long to really just drop and leave everything.

I don't think i've lost a friendship its more, i just feel the time is right to move on, you know intrest change, sense of humour change, stuff like that, an the friendship is there just forgotton in the past, it can be reignighted again like a candle but its not forever. I think its good to think about it like that. It means you still got a friend but for now you can move away branch out and maybe find new people to spend a few years of there life with. I'm think this maybe one of the man reasons why i enjoy this college life so much, changes and new chance happen constantly.

Just got to go for it. New chances are going to come. and hopefully friendships wil remain maybe not a there once peak but still strong enough to say hi and have a converstation. I'm looking forward to college next year :)

xx

Times they are a changin

A smart man once said that, I think he ment we should always be prepared for change cause we don't no when in may happen, it maybe sudden like a lose of a loved one or a pet or long like the changing of policy in goverment.

I always thought I was good with change, I adapt quickly and get use to things quickly or make it 'homely' so i could get used to it. And i still think i am good a change. It noticing the change i struggle with, obivous things like moving college or house are easy to notice, but its the smalls ones the ones that grow slowly like when your growing you don't see it in a mirror but when you compare it to your mum or your old height against a door you've changed and got tall.

Its these changes that are hard to spot, however hopefully i shall be able to adapt quickly and to make the change work. If not meh, i tried right :)

Details in the fabric - jason mraz ft james morrison
Is just feeling so right right now